Sunday, September 20, 2009

Non-Friends Cyber Search

I received a message on one of the many popular networking sites.  It was someone I'd known since high school, but hadn't spoken to in about 5yrs.  Admittedly, I was thrilled to hear from her and am awaiting her return email.  However, this got me thinking.  I won't join facebook, though my friends are quite persistent.  The thought of hundreds of people that I knew in another life, however briefly, looking me up, makes my skin crawl.  It isn't that someone would want to contact me as much as it is the fact that out of niceness, I would actually have to respond, thus allowing them access to blurbs that are none of their concern.  Though no one is here to twist my arm, I'm just polite that way I guess.

Unfortunately, it has been my experience that if you barely spoke with someone in high school, you're not going to want to be bothered almost 20yrs later.  (oops, I just aged myself).  Anyway, it is just that I would probably be inundated by all the undesireables.  Okay, that sounds bad.  It's not like I was hot or popular, but if we weren't friends then and our lives don't cross paths now, then I'm not concerned about trying to drag someone kicking and screaming into a faux relationship based on a non-friendship over a decade ago forged in cyberspace.  If I don't know you, then I don't expect you to act like you know me.  I'm not against new friendships, or 2nd chances.  But I have my limits.  This would be why, I prefer anonymity. 

This sounds so negative.  It really isn't.  People lose touch with loved ones and friends all the time.  Whether separated by time, bad blood, distance or circumstance.  If there was the hint of significance to the relationship, I'm all for contact.  Getting reacquainted with people is a wonderful thing.  The internet eases that journey.  It's just that, usually, people that want to reacquaint themselves with me are people that I was never acquainted with or ones that try to get me to believe that we knew each other once, but no.  Who can be bothered with all that, which comes with feelings that are generally easily stepped on, and I don't want to be that person.  If someone goes out of their way to find me, then I feel obligated to hear them out.  But in the end, nothing in common is nothing in common and I have too much to think about to be worried about hurting the feelings of someone I was never friends with.

With that said, I can't wait to hear back from my friend.  The hypocrisy here isn't lost on me.

2 comments:

ALAN said...

Interesting. I was drawn into the facebook thing by my sister, and the next thing I knew all kinds of people I had hoped were gone for good popped up. I deleted that facebook account. I hope my sisters aren't insulted that I de-friended them. I have their phone numbers.

Chkn said...

Oh my it is almost as If I had written this myself haha !

Completely disagree with face book so it is nice to know that I am not alone :)

The freinds re unite school etc things are terrible. I believe that the people that are still around are there for good reasons and those who didnt make it, they should never be back !

It is like messing with life's natural path.

Like Alan says, we got phone numbers! :D