Tuesday, August 24, 2010

So I caved, Sucka

It has been years since my first invitation to join Facebook.  I have ignored them all.  My email gets a steady influx of requests from my actual friends to join the site.  It is understandable, they want easy access to keep up with things.  Oh how things escalate.  First, after years and years, they finally bully me onto Myspace.  Then, that gets passe'.   So I have a Myspace page that I haven't visited in months.  Then I get talked into twitter.  I'm not on there that often, but it's easy enough to keep open while I'm online, so I use it fairly regularly. I find it almost laughable how I'll tweet about my naked chickens, and everyone reads it.  How is that any kind of news?  Anyway, EVERYONE seems to do the Facebook thing, even my hubby.  Personally, I like being incognito in cyberspace.  Unfortunately, they make you put a real name down to sign up.  I suppose I could have faked my name, but then that would defeat the purpose wouldn't it?

So, after lunch, I received four invitations to Facebook.  I figured, what the hay.  So I lumbered through the process and changed most everything to private.  I may be on there, but you must be one of the privileged few to see my stupidity.  Now, in addition to the close friends that I would love to communicate with regularly, I have been searched out by those I barely remember.  Okay, that's not quite true.  Perhaps it is by those who I never think about.  However, I have spent the afternoon reliving high school hell, and I can't help but wonder if this is going to be the continued Facebook experience.  I know many people thoroughly enjoy this phenomenon, but I am NOT one of them.  Is it interesting to see where they are now? Sure for like a second, but once they are a "friend" they are tapped into your life.  I mean, your actual life.  If I were to put info on there about my sick kids, then everyone would know.  If I say, "Bored and hungry, mmmm pie", then people I barely knew twenty years ago....OK scratch that, ten years ago, haha, will know that I want pie.  Then my neurotic mind will go through how fat that makes me sound, because it's not like I will EVER post a picture of myself on the internet.  So, my word choice will be scrutinized for clues as to what this present-day me looks like.  Yes, I am aware that I am a bit paranoid and seemingly narcissistic.  Why else would I truly believe that people would be so obsessed by the nonsense that will be on my wall?  Which, by the way, is way too in depth to be open that way.  It's one thing to let me and the intended party see my notes and comments, but no one cares what I had for dinner or that it gave me hellacious gas.  The few that may care, well, now all their "friends" will now that they have a creepy gassy friend that is not at all lady-like.  That's how it will seem anyway.

All I know is, on my end, I'm not interested in what my "friends" say to their other friends.  I do not care in the slightest about their postings, as they do not affect me.  Now, one day I am sure I will spend hours trying to figure out all the settings and make my wall as bare as possible, Not.  Who has the patience for that much tweaking?  So now, I have a bunch of people that I perhaps used to know in another life, looking at postings to and from my family who I barely get a chance to keep up with.  How are my twisted inside jokes worth fifteen seconds in the life of someone I kind of used to know. More importantly, how is their stupid nonsense worth my fifteen seconds, which grows into two hours at 2 a.m.  Oh, did I mention the inordinate amount of time it takes to weed through and inevitably delete all the messages and notifications that are automatically emailed to you.  It would be fine if it only sent the emails about the people that I care about, but no, it is for everyone who is a "Facebook friend" and most of them are not friends at all.  Unfortunately, I don't plan to be on there often enough to not need the email alerts.  It will probably be the only thing that makes me check the page.  I can't believe I got bullied into this nonsense.  Everyone seems so happy to have found me there.  It's so sad.  I'm such a sucker.  It's almost like they just don't want to suffer alone, they had to drag me their with them.  They say misery loves company, well I'm there now.

I swear it's addictive and not at all productive and makes people anonymously nosy.  After all, I could spend days checking up on people that were once, however briefly, a part of my life.  They would have no idea that I stalk them on the internet.  Not that I do, mind you, but I could.  And if I could, then they could.  Perhaps, it is that very possibility that is freaking me out right about now.  There could be people watching me online, queue creepy music.  I thought, innocently enough, that why would people be bothered looking me up.  Apparently, it's what people do.  It is things like this that cut into our outdoor activities and cause our sedentary asses to grow fat and wide.  For the love of God people, turn the electronic devices off and go outside.  Have a picnic, ride your bike or play with your kids.  Just leave my browbeaten Facebook behind alone.  You're scaring me back into oblivion and it's only been a few hours.

1 comment:

Alan said...

I hate facebook, but because so many of my friends and relatives post photos on it I decided to open an account in my dogs name. They all know Chandler so they accepted his 'friending'. Now I can access the photos and I don't have stalkers.